What a difference a day makes! 

If you read my last post you will know what I’m talking about, and if you did not then you might want to…or not. Well…what it was is that one of my “biologicals”was having a really yucky day with an anxiety “issue”, and it was stressful for me just hearing about it ! It seems to have been resolved as far as I know.  I have not heard anything different , so I am very thankful for prayers answered! Sometimes it feels like we could film a reality show around here. We could call it “As the WilderNest turns”!  All kidding aside I am glad to move peacefully into the weekend. The sun is shining outside, my errands are complete, and our nest is looking very inviting right now. Hubby and I have a date night tonight and we both have lots of projects going on at home. 

I plan to spend my weekend trying some recipes for homemade (and healthy) doggie and kitty treats. No I will not sample them myself; However…I do hope they will be safe and tasty for our beloved “fur kids” and for humans too( safe anyway if not tasty: ) I will let our precious and loving “Luna” and “Dakota” be the first taste testers . If all goes well with the two of them I will move on the the “fur grandkids: ) I do promise to let you know how it all goes ! So, until next time…I’m just going to keep on living the dream ! 

Blessings from the WilderNest 

Why is everything so heavy? 

Yes, I know this is not “Boogie Wonderland” as I had planned for my next post. I changed my mind today as my heart is heavy for my children. They are all in the midst of young adulthood and living full and productive lives.  From time to time one will call and want to chat about something going on …..Normal stuff, nothing earth shattering. Well, one called today and wanted to vent about an “issue”.  Anyway, “Boogie Wonderland” will have to wait. I certainly don’t want to be a “downer”but every subject and story is not always “an upper”, you know?  Certainly life is a series of “ups and downs” or “peaks and valleys”. As a Christian I believe our lives on earth will always be changing. The Bible tells us that life will be “full of problems” and that our hope is in Christ. I really do try my best to keep that in mind when I am having a bad day : ) It does help 🙂 It seems that some folks highs are higher than others though, and I do not mean marijuana induced or any of that stuff!  On the flip side, some folks lows seem lower as well !  I must get to the story ….When we were raising our children there were many times we had discussions about that particular topic…life’s peaks and valleys! The “ups and down” and every place in between . Also a few discussions about marijuana and the other “funny stuff out there”too along the way :). They did all go through the teenage years before they became the responsible adults they are today! For me it is not any easier now (to have those talks) than it was 10+ yrs ago. It still feels stressful and worrisome because those conversations normally mean one of our 4 is having a problem in his/her life.  Usually a minor one, thankfully!  (And, Yes I do realize they are all very capable adults !! : ) The point here is, earlier today I was called on to have one of “those conversations”. Why else would any reasonable person choose to talk about life’s ups and downs ?? Oh my goodness, that sentence reminds me of a 1970’s cheesy love song. But seriously, I still struggle when we are having a “talk” …whether it’s over a school or job issue, relationship issue or whatever. It’s still hard for me as a “Mom”. I want to fix everything and make my children OK. I want the problem(s) they are having to go away right then.  I need these humans I love so dearly to feel happy. Unrealistic and not what is always best for sure. As our oldest son says, “there are blessings and there are lessons”. (I think this is pretty clever ) 🙂 On another note,  Please understand that I am in no way, shape or form minimizing anyone’s problems! I am  well aware that as humans we all have problems , and some are HUGE.  I also know that people are all different, and our brains are each”wired differently”. Hopefully, this makes sense!  Hold that thought!! ….I will attempt to use “anxiety” as one of those differences in “brain wiring” : )Now I am certainly not a medical professional of any kind. I am only sharing what I have learned from my experiences within my own family! So please take this as my two cents worth. 

All of this to say, I have struggled with anxiety issues for as long as I can remember.  I am a worrier by nature. Even as a child I worried   …usually unnecessarily! I distinctly recall riding along in the car once with my mother when I was maybe 13. I was searching my brain for “anything I should be worried about”on that particular Saturday! How awful you’re saying , or maybe you’re a kindred spirit and you deal with the dreaded “unease” yourself. I hope not. I would not wish anxiety on anyone. Unfortunately, we cannot choose which genes we pass on to our children through our shared DNA!  None of us can control how our DNA “sifts out” and makes us each a unique individual.  Well as far as I know genetic engineering hasn’t gone that far!! One of our 4 did inherit my anxiety.  I knew it only months into infancy. I recognized it.  The angst was apparent. “Bless”, as one of our daughters often says… So, one of my two “biologicals”is dealing with anxiety as I create this post. That was the subject of our conversation today.  It is this one in particular “adult child”weighing on my heart the most this evening. I am having anxiety thinking about it !! I know the situation will be better probably by tomorrow, but I’m still worried. It’s how I am. I will read the Scriptures tonight and I will pray. I will also remember to smile. As I have  said many times humor gets our family through many situations, and now is no exception. Sooo… I will just have to end with “Sometimes it is better to laugh than to cry !” Oh my,  think I see the peak just around the corner up ahead ….

“Only You Mom!”

“Only you Mom!” is what our daughter, Allison, said with a laugh when I called her while standing on a sidewalk in Little Havana.  You know, Little Havana that’s a part the beautiful city of Miami, Florida. I will get to the story in just a minute! Hang on …..(Little sidebar inserted here: We have found that having an empty nest means that Briant and I get to travel together..just the two of us as a couple!  Not as parents : ) We did’nt really have a “regular dating” experience because we were dated with 4 children in tow !!  Seriously, for real. I know it sounds really old-fashioned.  We had a relatively short engagement because we had to get married to have time together! Just kidding, not really.  No, It’s true, the children were mostly always with us. We did go on a honeymoon to Jamaica alone, and I felt like a virgin bride I was so nervous.  We do know that could not be true because I had given birth to two children in my earlier marriage!

OK, so here goes the story… back to Little Havana.  Hubby and I took a little vacation to South Beach Miami just after Easter this year.   Just the two of us and it was great!  We stayed in a little Art Deco style hotel right on the beach that was probably built during the 1940’s.  It was awesome, and the weather was perfect. One of the things we like to do when we visit a new city is to take “an organized tour”. HaHa.  That seems so much like old people!!  We are old people!!  We particularly enjoy the double decker bus types.  The “Hop-On” “Hop-Off” kind which I highly recommend !  You really learn so much more about where you’re visiting.  We had a really good day touring around Miami Beach enjoying the gorgeous views of the water, the fabulous homes of “the beautiful people”, and a delicious lunch somewhere along the way!  Our tour ended in Little Havana (the Cuban area of Miami) and Briant and I decided to check out some of the little cafes along the street.  As we were walking along the sidewalk we heard some really good live latin music coming from somewhere close…  I absolutely love to watch good dancers, so I was thrilled when I spied a couple salsa dancing inside of this really small bar where a band was playing.  I told hubby we needed to hurry over to where we could see the dancers, and we did!  As we were standing outside of this popular bar “Ball and Chain” (btw it is a famous place) watching the obviously professional dancers in traditional Cuban dance costume, we noticed a second couple in the back dancing at a “slower pace”.  They looked fairly young, and they were wearing regular street clothes. Well….they were not just dancing, they were “pecking”at each other every now and then AND hugging quite a bit.  I found the scene kind of amusing myself so I took out my iphone and started “videoing” the whole scene. The first couple dancing were just amazingly talented so I took quite a bit of footage of them, and then I moved to the “other two” …. After a couple of minutes with my iphone held high in the air, a rather official looking person with a HUGE camera on her shoulder stopped me. She walked over and said, “Excuse me, you are not allowed to take videos here.”  I said, “Oh, why not?” She answered me with, “Because we are filming a tourism video.”  This of course just made me want to video them even more for some reason : )  By personality I am quite curious….SOO, I moved to a different spot in the crowd where I continued to video the second couple in the back.  They were just funny to me for whatever reason ? I guess I just could not figure out what they were up to…dancing by these incredibly talented professionals, and doing more “smooching” than dancing…. in the middle of the afternoon!  I figured there must be a really good story here and I certainly did’nt want to miss out ; ) I kept on videoing until Briant was obviously ready to move on down the street. As we were about to cross the street in Little Havana,  I heard a woman saying, “You know that was Rachel from “The Bachelorette” filming for next season!” I stopped in my tracks!  Well, I don’t watch television much at all, so I had no idea who Rachel was!  I called one of our daughters, and she immediately knew Rachel was the “Bachelorette.” Allison  laughed and said, “Only you Mom!” She asked me to send her the video.  I was so excited when Allison confirmed that I did indeed have “unseen footage of Rachel from “The Bachelorette”! HA! I was excited to have “a story” so I posted it on YouTube that very day. This was Rachel’s “Hometown date” with Bryan!   As of yesterday, my two videos posted from that scene have over 40K views so far!  What a fun memory from one of our first vacations as “just us”.  I knew then we certainly did’nt have to have 4 kids in tow to have a great time in Miami Beach ; )

Stay tuned …

The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Yep, that’s what Gladys Knight said.  And it’s true, this family is the best thing that ever happened to me for certain.   Briant and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary last month which means the WilderNest is 17 as well!  How time has flown…I told someone the other day (I don’t remember who) that when you’re in the throes of raising children “the days go by slowly, but the years go by quickly.”  I remember those early years when  I was sooo busy, especially during the school years when all four kids had extracurricular activities.  I rolled around town in my minivan (later in my big SUV:) dropping off and picking up our kids until night many days. In addition, they visited their other parents regularly so the schedule was pretty tight around our home.  Believe it or not,  I loved every minute of our organized chaos..especially the carpool.  I’m sure our 4 will never forget the times when we were running late for school, and as Will recently said, “Time just seemed to stand still” for us.  And that was even if we stopped by the Burger King drive thru for breakfast !!  Of course time really did’nt stand still, but obviously those days were magical for our family… I treasure those magical moments, even that really bad day when we ran over our neighbor’s mailbox with our “then new” SUV…well, that’s definitely a story for another post : )

This summer has been good.  It has been a time of reflection for me, even though our schedule as a married couple has been extremely active.  My annoying chronic illness has reared it’s ugly head since about April which means a great deal of fatigue and tiredness.  Translation:  I have felt pretty rotten and had more down time than I would like.  My family has been amazing…I have felt the love and support from each of my loved ones even on my worst days.  We are closer than ever; and we still have so much fun when we get together…it seems like we never stop laughing.  Humor has always gotten our family through many times that really were not that funny!!  I believe every second of time invested in building “our nest” has paid us back with more love than I ever expected.  So really,  they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

 

 

 

 

This Old Heart of Mine

Wow, it’s been a (long) while since I’ve posted anything.  My husband has asked me many times since last November when I was planning to write again, and I answered each of his questions the same….I would simply tell him, “I don’t know.”  Change is one part of life that happens whether we like it or not.  I can tell you that there have been many changes in our lives since last year.  I left you with the news that the Wilder Nest was moving to a new tree, and I described “the best laid plans” for our move.  You know about those kind of plans, they often “go awry!” They certainly changed for us, and I’m glad.  If we had followed that very first “best laid plan”,  I would be writing this from a new home inside another gated community. Another community that looks more like a “house farm” than a neighborhood; a place where lots of over 50 folks ride around in golf carts.  I really thought that was what I wanted.  Thankfully, the light came on in my brain and allowed me to realize my heart was never in it. I’ve always been more of a beach girl probably since I did grow up on the coast of NC. 

I am happy to report that thanks to my precious husband who knows me so well and loves me like no other,  we are nesting in this amazingly awesome “downtown real neighborhood.”  Each house is different with a personality all it’s own much like the people who live in them.   Some are old, some are young, some are in between…all interesting.  This neighborhood known as “The Promise Land” is special, and it feels that way to me.

Most mornings I  wake up early to the the melodious singing (technically chirping) from seagulls over the sound near our home.  Or, If I sleep really late…I can wake up, walk out on my porch, and hear the laughter of the children playing on the playground at St. Egberts School.  It is on the other side of “our nest”.  Either way…beautiful music to my ears.  It just doesn’t get any better for me. The heart knows!

Coming soon….”Seven Lonely Nights” in Bear Creek.

As promised I bring you…WilderNest moves to a new tree

It has been a long month.  Thankfully, we do not know what lies ahead of us in life because if we did…well, it would probably be a bad time, as we say “downeast”. Seriously, this month has been full of both unexpected loss and unexpected blessings. My husband approached me a few months ago with the idea of selling our family home. He cited several very good reasons, and I listened.  This was BIG for both of us.  Big for him because he knew I might just run around wailing and crying like a big old baby if he brought up the idea of moving! I have to admit that did happen once:/ yikes !!

I did not wail and cry. Nor did I act crazy at all. Previous discussions about moving had not gone so well as I was truly irrationally stubborn. This time I really was open to the idea of building a home to suit our changing needs. I happily agreed we should just go for it and call our realtor guy ! I was really thinking to myself that certainly we had plenty of months before our home would sell…translated into plenty of time for me to get used to the idea of leaving behind my nest where we raised our family. Where so many happy memories were made. We contracted our lovely family home with the realtor and put the big and colorful “for sale” sign in our yard.  Spying our newly installed sign,many neighbors flocked to our yard to find out where “the Wilder’s are going !!!” Well, the unexpected happened ! Our house sold in what seems like just a few weeks to me. My mother says it was months… The excited buyers wanted us to be “out in 30 days”because they were ready to take possession of the WilderNest and move on with life. They even had a punch list of little things they wanted repaired in the house during those 30 days…what a whirlwind. So while Briant and the realtor diligently worked on the “dreaded punch list”,I was working on finding out just “who” was going to be living in our home. I was so happy when I learned the new family included at least one small child. I was so excited to know the neighbors would get to watch and enjoy another child grow up on Carefree Lane ; ). Still it was bittersweet leaving my home of 16+years. Briant and discussed feelings at length, and we both agree that  I have a problem equating my emotional security with “a house or a place”…subconsciously of course. Probably it started during my late teenage years… an insecurity about moving from one home to another.  Certainly during my first marriage I never wanted to move from that house.  Then, when Briant and I married in June,2000, I told my sweet new husband it would “take some time for me to bond with the house because I had lived in my former house 11 years”. He must have wondered  what in the world he had gotten himself into marrying me. Lol. If he did indeed have those thoughts about me, he never said a word. Briant was always patient and supportive of my issues and causes….as we like to say:) Our new family was our first priority from day one of our marriage. Fast forward a bit to the first weekend we were completely out of our house. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon when I received the phone call from my mother. My grandmother had died in her sleep just minutes before with family by her side. My grandmother  had suffered a long illness, but my mom said she passed from this earthly world very peacefully.  I could not believe she was gone, and for a few days I would think of something I wanted to tell her and then remember that I could not. Not right now anyway. I miss her so much.  Many of my favorite childhood memories include her as well as my other grandparents. They were all a large part of my growing up years and had a huge impact on my life. I feel so fortunate for having them all. I believe this was a turning point for me, losing my dear grandmother and leaving my family home. Both of these events were emotionally charged  and difficult yet I learned and grew from each experience. Memories shared raising our children and blending our family on Carefree Lane…and then all of the memories I treasure of time spent with my grandmother. I realize the memories are stored in my mind and not in a structure. I hold them forever in my heart no matter where I go.

The entire family is excited about building a home in a new subdivision where we can take our treasured memories and make new ones!

It is peaceful here in our cottage where I can see Bogue Sound from my window.  I have finally (at age 50) given up my irrational fear of moving ….I have always known that family and the people in your life are what is most important…not material things.  It is definitely the people “who make the nest”and not “the tree”that matters most.  I am certain I will handle any future moves just fine…well, as long as I’m not more than 20 miles from here : )

Briant and I are very thankful for the many blessings in our lives, and we are looking forward to Thanksiving with the four grown up kids and spouses : )… AND, we now have 5 fur grandkids !  Our nest will be full again for a few days…..just the way I like it. Hopefully, some human grandkids will visit the nest before too long !