It has been a long month. Thankfully, we do not know what lies ahead of us in life because if we did…well, it would probably be a bad time, as we say “downeast”. Seriously, this month has been full of both unexpected loss and unexpected blessings. My husband approached me a few months ago with the idea of selling our family home. He cited several very good reasons, and I listened. This was BIG for both of us. Big for him because he knew I might just run around wailing and crying like a big old baby if he brought up the idea of moving! I have to admit that did happen once:/ yikes !!
I did not wail and cry. Nor did I act crazy at all. Previous discussions about moving had not gone so well as I was truly irrationally stubborn. This time I really was open to the idea of building a home to suit our changing needs. I happily agreed we should just go for it and call our realtor guy ! I was really thinking to myself that certainly we had plenty of months before our home would sell…translated into plenty of time for me to get used to the idea of leaving behind my nest where we raised our family. Where so many happy memories were made. We contracted our lovely family home with the realtor and put the big and colorful “for sale” sign in our yard. Spying our newly installed sign,many neighbors flocked to our yard to find out where “the Wilder’s are going !!!” Well, the unexpected happened ! Our house sold in what seems like just a few weeks to me. My mother says it was months… The excited buyers wanted us to be “out in 30 days”because they were ready to take possession of the WilderNest and move on with life. They even had a punch list of little things they wanted repaired in the house during those 30 days…what a whirlwind. So while Briant and the realtor diligently worked on the “dreaded punch list”,I was working on finding out just “who” was going to be living in our home. I was so happy when I learned the new family included at least one small child. I was so excited to know the neighbors would get to watch and enjoy another child grow up on Carefree Lane ; ). Still it was bittersweet leaving my home of 16+years. Briant and discussed feelings at length, and we both agree that I have a problem equating my emotional security with “a house or a place”…subconsciously of course. Probably it started during my late teenage years… an insecurity about moving from one home to another. Certainly during my first marriage I never wanted to move from that house. Then, when Briant and I married in June,2000, I told my sweet new husband it would “take some time for me to bond with the house because I had lived in my former house 11 years”. He must have wondered what in the world he had gotten himself into marrying me. Lol. If he did indeed have those thoughts about me, he never said a word. Briant was always patient and supportive of my issues and causes….as we like to say:) Our new family was our first priority from day one of our marriage. Fast forward a bit to the first weekend we were completely out of our house. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon when I received the phone call from my mother. My grandmother had died in her sleep just minutes before with family by her side. My grandmother had suffered a long illness, but my mom said she passed from this earthly world very peacefully. I could not believe she was gone, and for a few days I would think of something I wanted to tell her and then remember that I could not. Not right now anyway. I miss her so much. Many of my favorite childhood memories include her as well as my other grandparents. They were all a large part of my growing up years and had a huge impact on my life. I feel so fortunate for having them all. I believe this was a turning point for me, losing my dear grandmother and leaving my family home. Both of these events were emotionally charged and difficult yet I learned and grew from each experience. Memories shared raising our children and blending our family on Carefree Lane…and then all of the memories I treasure of time spent with my grandmother. I realize the memories are stored in my mind and not in a structure. I hold them forever in my heart no matter where I go.
The entire family is excited about building a home in a new subdivision where we can take our treasured memories and make new ones!
It is peaceful here in our cottage where I can see Bogue Sound from my window. I have finally (at age 50) given up my irrational fear of moving ….I have always known that family and the people in your life are what is most important…not material things. It is definitely the people “who make the nest”and not “the tree”that matters most. I am certain I will handle any future moves just fine…well, as long as I’m not more than 20 miles from here : )
Briant and I are very thankful for the many blessings in our lives, and we are looking forward to Thanksiving with the four grown up kids and spouses : )… AND, we now have 5 fur grandkids ! Our nest will be full again for a few days…..just the way I like it. Hopefully, some human grandkids will visit the nest before too long !